Always. But Sometimes, Never.
Effective leaders comprehend how words can and do shape communication and relationships. If misused, words have enough power to unintentionally create greater conflict rather than better understanding. Many leaders underestimate the power of words and language and must shift towards mindful, constructive communication.
Writers know that certain words clutter the page. “Nearly,” “Rather,” “Some,” and “Very” are common examples. That’s not to say these words are never used or always omitted, but when you see them, you know the writer was a little sluggish in that sentence because they could have expressed themselves in a different, compelling way.
Busy professionals can fall into the trap of using “Always” and “Never” in their discussions. Like a ping-pong ball, these words are bounced back and forth, often leading to heated debates. They carry a heavy emotional charge and are frequently used when the speaker expresses a definitive opinion disguised as an accusation.
An argument inevitably occurs when one speaker starts with an “I always…” or a “You never…”
The knee-jerk reaction from the other sounds like, “You always…” or “I never…”
It goes on and on: point and counterpoint; both sides issue opinions that they think are facts.
Facts have certainty, while the words “Always” and “Never” only sound like they do. True, the sun always rises in the East and sets in the West. It is not true that you never make the bed. You have at least once and probably will again. Nature has a degree of certainty to it; we… less so. “Always” and “Never” are inflammatory rhetoric seldom used in a well-meaning way.
Always is forever,
and most things seldom are.
Never is not ever,
and that goes a bit too far.
Sometimes rests between the two,
with honesty and moderation.
But sometimes lacks the punch for you,
and reeks of hesitation.
“Always” and “Never” have been used destructively for too long. I’m not suggesting a movement that strips these from your vocabulary. I’m suggesting you use them when expressing a desire instead of blaming.
Express your thoughts and feelings without the risk of sounding accusatory. Be honest with “Sometimes,” a word that allows for flexibility, honesty, and moderation and can replace “Always” and “Never” in most of your language.
Be more definitive in your life. Don’t have values or beliefs that you sometimes follow. Instead, commit to them wholeheartedly. Make your communication more effective and inspire others to do the same.
Watch your language, keep advancing confidently in the direction of your dreams, and help others along the way.
