How to Manage Your Disappointment

Karl Bimshas
4 min readMay 18, 2022

Fear of disappointment is debilitating and corrosive to living the life you want.

The potential for external disappointment can be especially devastating when it comes from someone you care about. You may initially act with defensive defiance, but that masks the kick in the gut you feel. We do not like to let people down.

Internal disappointment can come with a lot of head trash. You may not choose to share your disappointment in yourself with others, but it is hard to escape. You can only do so if you forgive yourself, and as a rule, we tend not to do such a good job with apologies.

The thing is, you must. What is the alternative? Push it down deep into the recesses of your psyche and ignore it? You cannot sustain that if you want to be healthy and productive.

Instead, embrace disappointment ahead of time.

Imagine your impending action disappointed someone you love, including yourself. What will happen, and what do you imagine the consequences will be? How will you handle them?

If you did not take that action, would you experience a different, perhaps deeper disappointment, or would there be a sense of relief?

By confronting both scenarios, you lessen the emotional strain. You may not eliminate the fear of disappointment, but you will have confronted it, and that puts you in a better position going forward.

It is not about the size or severity of the disappointment; it is how quickly you recover from it. Disappointments happen; they are a part of living. If the coffee shop runs out of blueberry muffins, do you let it ruin your day? If you miss a connecting flight, how quickly can you make alternative, albeit inconvenient, plans?

You will not entirely eliminate disappointment, but your measured reaction will significantly minimize its influence on you. If you must dwell, don’t dwell on what could go wrong; dwell on reasonable alternatives you can act upon instead.

Go, advance confidently in the direction of your dreams.

You Yell, You Lose

If you’re an adult entrusted with the privilege and responsibility of authority, and you regularly berate or yell at your employees, you lose.

You might trick yourself into thinking it will work in the short term, but you’ve paid a heavy price. You’ve lost respect; you’ve lost long-term productivity, and you’ll lose revenue.

When you treat another adult with less dignity than you would expect to receive from them, you’re no longer a leader. You’re not even a professional.

You can’t hide behind labels and excuses. Blaming your behavior on your “passion” or “zeal to win” is a fool’s ruse. You’ve already advertised your weakness and lack of control. Make amends and then make a plan to ensure it never happens again. If you can’t lead without yelling, you can’t lead.

Did You Forget What You’re Good At?

One of the biggest mistakes I see stressed leaders make is, forgetting about their natural skills. The Core Competency Index guides you through an honest assessment of your current competencies and provides you with a specific plan to develop your skills.

Leadership Assessments from Karl Bimshas Consulting

Your online assessment generates a 30-page report with recommended improvements for twenty-five categories — generally agreed to core competencies of most professional workplaces.

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Karl Bimshas Consulting
Karl Bimshas

Boston-bred and California-chilled Leadership Adviser | Writer | Podcast Host who helps busy professionals who want to manage better and lead well.