Respect or Obedience?

Karl Bimshas
3 min readSep 6, 2023

The words respect and accountability get bandied about quite a bit, but their true meaning may not always be apparent. Reflect on the subtle distinctions between what people claim to want and their underlying intentions.

When most people desire respect, they usually wish to be treated with dignity and consideration. They want others to value their opinions, boundaries, and individuality. However, sometimes, when people demand respect, what they truly seek is obedience and compliance. They want others to follow their orders, opinions, or instructions without questioning them.

Respect in leadership refers to recognizing a leader’s authority and expertise. When leaders are respected, others value their decisions and opinions. This respect is earned through consistent behavior, integrity, fairness, and the leader’s ability to listen to and consider alternative viewpoints. A respected leader creates an environment of trust, open communication, and collaboration. Team members follow a respected leader because they feel valued and believe in the vision.

On the other hand, obedience implies following a leader’s directives without challenging them. Team members comply with orders because of their hierarchical authority. This blind obedience hinders critical thinking and creativity and creates an atmosphere where team members hesitate to voice concerns or suggest improvements.

Similarly, when people speak of accountability, they desire transparency, responsibility, and acknowledgment of their actions. They want individuals or organizations to take ownership of their successes and failures. Yet, some people who purport to want accountability really desire punishment. They are more interested in assigning blame and penalizing others than seeking a fair and transparent accountability process. This attitude often leads to retribution instead of understanding and learning from mistakes.

Leadership accountability pertains to leaders’ responsibility and answerability for their actions, decisions, and outcomes. Accountable leaders are transparent about their decisions and willing to learn from their successes and failures. Doing so nurtures trust, credibility, and a sense of shared responsibility within the team.

Punishment involves imposing penalties in response to wrongdoings or failures. While accountability may hold individuals responsible for their actions, punishment without a fair and transparent process creates fear, stifles creativity and open communication, and can lead to blame avoidance instead of constructive problem-solving.

Effective leaders establish a culture of accountability by openly acknowledging successes and failures. They lead by example, admitting their mistakes and discussing the steps taken to rectify them. Team members are more likely to take ownership of their actions when they see their leaders doing the same. Leaders must emphasize learning and growth from failures rather than punitive measures. They encourage open discussions about what went wrong and how to prevent similar issues in the future. Instead of punishment, effective leaders provide constructive feedback and coaching to help team members develop their skills and competencies. This approach promotes a growth mindset and nurtures a sense of support, not fear.

In both cases, what someone claims to want (respect and accountability) may not align with their true intentions (obedience and punishment). Leaders must recognize these nuances to create a genuine and effective environment that aligns with their values. Effective leadership cultivates a garden where authenticity flourishes, growth sprouts from mistakes, and reflection guides future decisions.

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About Karl Bimshas

Karl Bimshas is a Boston-bred, California-chilled Leadership Consultant and Writer. As the founder of Karl Bimshas Consulting, he provides customized leadership development resources and accountability partnering for busy professionals who want to manage better and lead well.

With Karl Bimshas Consulting, you become a confident and competent leader without becoming the kind of jerky boss everyone has had, and no one wants again, even if your self-confidence has taken a hit.



Karl Bimshas

Boston-bred and California-chilled Leadership Adviser | Writer | Podcast Host who helps busy professionals who want to manage better and lead well.